Angela Cummings


An Update on the Pluto Situation
July 15, 2015

Yesterday, New Horizons drove by Pluto and paparazzied back home some very revealing photographs. These published photos allow us, for the very first time, to see our former friend’s birthmarks, the most noteworthy of which is a white, heart-shaped mass sitting somewhere on or near Pluto’s ruddy-toned dwarf-ball of a face.

The romantics, poets and Plutophiles are in heaven (if there were ever any doubt.)

The only question now is how the rest of the solar system should respond to such a blatant display as this. Pluto has – literally – just “hearted” us via the only social media outlet he has access to.

Friends, this colossal heart emoji should not be ignored. And while I know the elite jury is still deliberating, and in many high profile examples, the jurors are emphatically ruling “OUT” (I’m talking to you, NDT) I implore you to actually read this love letter tossed out to the stellar sea.

“I want, I want,” says Pluto. Is that really so much to ask?

And, while sweet, let’s never forget that sometimes the least assuming are the toughest and craftiest and most resilient. Call me a dreamer, but I imagine a day when that little guy re-emerges on our collective scene, offering a masterclass in the underdog victory story; leaving no one to doubt he’s fit to clear his neighborhood1 without apology or reservation.

Until then, I beam out a hearty thumb’s up to you, Pluto, our poetic planette; our future galactic ass kicker.

  1. “Clearing the neighborhood” is one of three criteria for a celestial body to be considered a planet in the solar system. ↩︎